Reformed hacker cabal revealed!
2007-02-12In a surprise move, R.C. Sproul, Jr. and Doug Phillips have revealed the existence of a secret hacker organization started as a joint project by the Highlands Study Center and the Vision Forum. “We’re pretty pleased with the results that this group has produced, and we thought that they should be recognized,” said Sproul.
This group of home-schooled hackers, known only as c4lv1n’$ b0y$, has been patrolling the blogosphere for the last several months, enforcing the whims of these two ministry leaders on any hapless blogger that gets in the way. Sproul and Phillips refused to confirm any specifics, but c4lv1n’$ b0y$ are suspected to be the masterminds behind the hacks of Little Geneva and Ministry Watchman, as well as a number of smaller bloggers.
“It’s quite simple, really,” said Phillips. “I just get on the phone with my boy LU7|-|3r and tell him to drop a hammer on some upstart. He does all the rest. It’s been an honor to work with a man of God like him.”
“LU7|-|3r” was not available for comment.
Despite their ongoing successes at suppressing free speech on the Internet, Sproul and Phillips say that they are still not content. As the next phase of their plan, Vision Forum has begun selling Dominionist ™ Killer Robot kits. “This is a perfect opportunity for a father with a multi-generational vision to teach his boys basic robotics while helping me conquer the world,” said Phillips. “We estimate that we have already shipped 5,000 of these kits. Within a few months, my army will be complete. Then, all shall fall before our armored wrath.”
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