Last night, Crystal and I went on a PretendDate. This is the second time we’ve done this, and it was a fun time. But, what is a PretendDate? I’m glad you asked.

It all started one evening when Crystal and I were out and about. We were driving randomly and ended up near the home of some friends of ours. Crystal really wanted to ring their doorbell and run away slowly to pretend to prank them. She was quite pregnant at the time, and she thought this would be funny. We dithered about it for a bit and decided that we could just pretend that we did it and then tweet that we had done it. Then, maybe our friends would see it and we’d all laugh. So, that’s what we did.

Things got a little out of hand after that. We drove around the city to different places. Then we’d decide what we were going to pretend to do there. Then we’d tweet it (with the #pretenddate hashtag) and move on. So, all we actually did was drive around the city to different places. But, in our minds, we did all kinds of things.

So, last night, we really did get egg rolls…from Egg Roll Express on Sterling and Gale. Then we ate them in the parking lot of Westlake Plaza near a security guard in a car that looked a lot like a cop car. Then we poked around one of the Halloween stores that was there. Then we headed towards Spotted Cow, took a wrong turn, discovered that Spotted Cow was closed, then headed to Dairy Queen. Once there, we bought onion rings and ice cream sundaes. We ate them, drove a little longer, then headed home. Along the way, though, we tweeted our PretendDate adventures, because it’s fun.

(After we got home, I beat Crystal at Dominion and then we watched an episode of The Wire, but that wasn’t part of the PretendDate.)

So, while this PretendDate cost money, it didn’t have to. All you really need is the time to be away and the willingness to pretend together. It’s something between a roleplaying game and an alternate reality game. And, tweeting about it let’s others play along.

So, that’s a PretendDate. Please do steal the concept, if you like it. If you do, be sure to tweet about it with the #pretenddate hashtag. That way we can all play along.

So, once again, through the dirty streets of a broken city. And this time, I’m taking notes for Major Crimes.

I didn’t think that Dirty Secrets was quite the right fit, but I couldn’t figure out a good game to play. I toyed with the idea of designing a game especially for the occasion, but it just wasn’t coming together. So, a couple days before the party, I settled on a shortlist of three games: Primetime Adventures, The Extraordinary Adventures of Baron Munchausen, and A Penny For My Thoughts.

After presenting the options to Moriah, along with my reasons for each one, she selected A Penny For My Thoughts.

A fussy baby intervened. Busting out the game wasn’t going to work right then. But I’d promised a roleplaying game to Moriah, so we adjourned to my house later in the evening to play.

Did I mention that Moriah’s family lives down the street? I didn’t? Yeah, they are close friends of the family and live just down the street.

So, around 8:30, we sat down to play A Penny For My Thoughts. We wrapped up around 11:45, not having really completed the session. As a matter of fact, we rushed the ending on two of the stories so that we could actually hear the ending.

And yet, it was a distinctly satisfying game.

Let’s see. Here’s a player list.

Seth: That’s me. I first heard about this game at GenCon 2007 when Emily Care Boss came over to me and said, “You have to check out A Penny For My Thoughts by Paul Tevis.” She was right. I was involved in a couple playtests of the game and eagerly awaited this game’s release. At this point, I think I’d say that A Penny For My Thoughts is my favorite pickup RPG. I was the only player who had played A Penny For My Thoughtsbefore.

Ralph: A friend of both my family and Moriah’s family and part of my regular gaming group. Oh yeah, he co-designed this game called Universalis and is working on some other games, too. You may have heard of him.

Raquel: Another friend and fellow roleplayer. Also, Moriah’s aunt. She had been interested in playing A Penny For My Thoughts for a while and was enthusiastic to have the opportunity to play.

Toby: Moriah’s brother. If I’m doing my math correctly, he’s eleven. He’s a budding gamer. He was at Gencon 2008 as a tenth birthday present, if that gives you any idea. He’s a fan of Magic: The Gathering and Sons of Liberty.

Moriah: the aforementioned 13 ½ year old. I’m trying to remember if she’s actually played a roleplaying game before. If so, it was probably Sons of Liberty. Or was it The Land of 1000 Kings? I don’t remember. Anyways, she’s not generally someone that I would have expected to be particularly interested in roleplaying games. Actually, come to think of it, I’m a little surprised that she asked to play one for her birthday.

But I’m glad she did.

For those of you who don’t know, A Penny For My Thoughts is a roleplaying game in which you are all amnesia patients undergoing an experimental therapy to attempt to regain your memories. Well, at least that’s how the game presents itself. It’s actually a very clever collaborative storytelling game. The storyteller is telling a story about himself; however, he cannot control his own actions in the story. (After all, his mind is resisting his efforts to remember what he did.) So, the other players provide the storyteller with options on what he did at turning points in the story. It’s very cool.

The game draws heavily on Paul Tevis’s background in improv techniques, which is reflected in the ruleset. This is most obvious in the rules for Guiding Questions. Each story starts by drawing a random Memory Seed from a container on the table. This is a short sense impression or memory snippet. Some examples from yesterday’s game: “Going next door to your friend’s house”, “moonlight filtering through the fog”, “the smell of a campfire,” or “the smell of a campfire”. That’s not a typo, by the way. A neighbor had a small fire going, which inspired both Ralph and myself to put that trigger in the pool. And yes, both were drawn, too.

Anyways, once you get your Memory Trigger, each of the other players asks you a question about the Memory Trigger. The answer to the question is always “Yes, and…” and then you must add an additional detail. This is a classic improv technique which requires that the receiving player accept the input of the other players.

Moriah struggled with this at first. She tried to answer “No”. She tried to answer “Yes, but…”. She even weaseled a bit on the “Yes, and…” Gradually, the nature of the game became apparent to her.

The Introduction of the game has a section called “A Word of Caution”, which reads as follows:

Before we continue, you must understand that whatever you did in your past is in the past—you do not have control over what has gone before. As the treatment progresses, you may discover that the person you were does not match your expectations. Indeed, the person you were may turn out to be someone you do not now wish to be. The cause of your trauma might be something accidental that you blame yourself for, but it might be some intentional act that you undertook with full knowledge of the consequences.

You may feel at times that the other patients have control over your past. This is not true. Your fellow patients will reveal the person you were. While you do not have control over that person, you do control how you feel about it and what sort of person you will be after today.

Yep. It’s like that. Which is, by the way, pretty much awesome.

This came to a head Moriah was struggling to come up with “Yes, and…” responses for her second memory, which is an unpleasant memory. I paused the game and asked if she was struggling because she didn’t like who her character was turning out to be. She agreed that this was the case. So I told her that the entire point of play was discovering who you are. And yes, you might not like finding out the truth. But that’s what that last question is for: “Do you want to remember?” Now that you know who you are, do you want to remember who you are?

She stopped fighting it. Instead of struggling against who she was turning out to be, she embraced the process. And her creativity blossomed.

The same thing happened as she was asking Guiding Questions of the other players. Improv theory states that people are naturally creative. Normally, when someone is having trouble thinking of something creative, it’s not because the person has no thoughts. It’s because the person has judged those thoughts to be unworthy. Part of improv training is learning to embrace your first creative impulse.

Both Moriah and Toby were struggling with this. Moriah particularly struggled with the feeling that her contributions weren’t interesting enough. So Ralph and I introduced her to the concept of being obvious.

In his book Play Unsafe, Graham Walmsley discusses the principle of “being obvious”. He says that you shouldn’t strive to be clever or cool. Too often, “clever” ideas just end up falling flat. Instead, you should simply state what is obvious to you. Most often, what is obvious to you will be obvious to everyone else, and you will have avoided being a disruption. But, sometimes, what is obvious to you wasn’t apparent to anyone else. Now, your “obvious” idea is the awesome addition that the game needs.

We laid this out to Moriah as she was struggling with a question for Raquel’s second memory (again, this is the unpleasant memory). We had already established that she had suffered a miscarriage and that her man had left her because she was emotionally distant from him and because he thought that she should be over it by then. Moriah had the last question to ask, but she was sure that her idea was stupid.

But we coaxed it out of her. We talked about “first thoughts”. We explained “being obvious”. An d then Moriah turned to Raquel and asked, “Were you out of groceries?” Yeah, her “obvious” idea. Her “stupid” thought that she didn’t want to share with us.

No one else at the table had even thought of it, and it broke the scene open.

We were running short on time, but we wanted to see the end of Raquel and Moriah’s stories. So we gave each of them a penny from the bowl to give them the minimum four pennies necessary to tell their third memories. Moriah ended up going last.

By this point, it was late, and we were all tired. Moriah was really trying, but she was so tired that she felt lost. By this point, she was telling about her life in jail. About spending time in solitary confinement. About making a shiv. About starting a riot. About framing someone for a murder and taking a beatdown as a result.

It was truly heartbreaking. Somehow, somewhere, something had gone horribly wrong. In the end, she was beaten unconscious by a gang of inmates and had awakened at the Institute.

But did she want to remember?

She did.

There were good things to remember, too, she explained. If she chose to forget, she would lose those good memories, too. So she chose to remember.

It was a powerful moment.

And, after the game, as they prepared to head back down the street, Moriah told me that she enjoyed the game and that she’d like to play again.

That’s a win in my book.

“Both GenCon and polyamory are poor attempts to replace true covenant community. I blame Thomas Chalmers and George Grant. #notatgencon”

So, yeah, this is an example of what happens when you try to compress a train of thought into a tweet. So I’d best unpack this, eh?

Over the past few weeks, the Ben-Ezra family has been spending time with a couple other families in our church, discussing a recorded lecture series by George Grant on the life and work of Thomas Chalmers; specifically, his work in planting churches with a vibrant covenant community. I was unable to listen to the final lecture with the group, because Hope was being fussy. However, I was informed by one of my elders that I really needed to listen to it. So, while I was working on Friday, I was listening to the final lecture and the following Q&A period. During that time, Dr. Grant made an off-hand comment that I found to be fascinating. He said that one source of the stress found in marriages is the expectation that each spouse will be able to fill all the needs of the other person.

And that’s when I flashed to both GenCon and polyamory.

I’ve had occasion to see discussions about the motives and goals of polyamory. The running theme of these discussions is summarized well by a quote from an article in Newsweek entitled “Only You. And You. And You.”: “Everyone in a relationship wrestles at some point with an eternal question: can one person really satisfy every need?”

(In a weird intersection between GenCon and polyamory, I point to the Jeepform Under My Skin, which is an attempt to address precisely these issues.)

Polyamory isn’t really about sex. It’s about loneliness.

And so is GenCon.

Check out this promo text from this year’s website:

Gen Con Indy is the original, longest running, best attended, gaming convention in the world. For over 40 years, Gen Con Indy has been setting the trend and breaking records. Last year, more than 28,000 unique attendees experienced Gen Con Indy. The biggest complaint we hear is that there is simply too much to do, see, and experience. Get lost in a phantasm of art exhibits. Stare at jaw-dropping costumes, or better yet, wear one of your own. Meet the movers and the shakers in the gaming industry. Check out the newest games and get a sneak peek at the latest editions.

And, of course, play your heart out with fellow enthusiasts in a community that understands your passion. What you’ll experience at Gen Con Indy is nothing short of IT. You know, whatever “It” is for you? This is IT! Get ready to get there.

The emphasis is mine, of course.

I visited GenCon 2002 for one day, which was the last year GenCon was in Milwaukee. More recently, I was at GenCon 2007 and 2008 in Indianapolis. If you’re at all into hobby gaming, it’s an incredible experience. The entire city is prepared to take your money…I mean, welcome you to downtown Indy. Everywhere you go, you see gamers, oohing and aahing over new books or games. You see cosplayers in costume, dressed like Darth Vader, Solid Snake, Master Chief, or other geek-related characters. There’s this crazy buzz in the air and this sense of recognition as you pass a fellow geek.

Because, more than any other place, GenCon is where you can be a gamer and be normal.

Let’s face it: hobby gaming is an outsider’s activity. The vast majority of gamers are socially ostracized by the mainstream. (For now, we’ll set aside whether or not this is just.) To be a gamer is to be a nerd, looked down on by “normal” people, laughed at in the media, or rejected by friends.

Except at GenCon.

At GenCon you are normal. At GenCon, stormtroopers wander the streets and no one blinks. Boffer duels break out in hallways, and people stop to enjoy the show, not wonder at the crazies with the padded swords.

More than anything else, I believe that GenCon is selling acceptance.

For those of you who don’t know, GenCon 2009 was last weekend. I wasn’t there. This was a struggle for me at times. I mean, I had a list of good reasons why I wasn’t there. So, why was I disappointed?

Here’s why. At GenCon, I’m a game designer who helped in the early stages of the Forge indie game movement. I published one of the first American Jeepform games. I know the movers and shakers in the community. Moreover, my skills are valued. Last year, I helped construct the booth demos for two rookie designers, and my insight was appreciated.

I was missing that sense of acceptance. For me, it’s a bit more specialized than the average gamer. But yeah, that’s exactly what it was.

And it’s a trap.

Both polyamory and GenCon hold out a promise that they cannot fulfill, because both are founded on lies.

Polyamory tries to locate the solution to loneliness within the family. Oddly enough, it’s really just a variation of the problem the polyamorous are claiming to be addressing. The assumption is that we can pack enough people into a family to meet all our needs. But it doesn’t work. God created us to be monogamous, and violating His will through polyamory will end in tears. For example, polyamorous relationships often blow apart because of jealousy. Another quote from the Newsweek article explains this just a little:

The trio have had emotional moments. Scott had a hard time the first time he heard Larry called Terisa “sweetie” nine years ago. Larry was nervous when Terisa began semiseriously dating somebody outside the group. There are times when Scott has had to put up with hearing his girlfriend have sex with someone else in the home they share.

If someone were to talk like that to Crystal…well, let’s just say that they wouldn’t find the body. Ya know? And let’s not even get into that sexual openness, yeah?

GenCon tries to address the problem through sameness. “Look at all these gamers! You’re not alone! You’re normal!” But this fails for two reasons. First, GenCon eventually ends, and then you must return to “real life”. The GenCon high doesn’t last. Second, the gaming world isn’t remotely unified. Even if you look at the narrow slice I inhabit, there are constant debates over what it means to be a community. The flame wars, the nerd rage…. Yeah. Is that really the foundation of a solid community? I mean, what are we united around, anyways? Gaming? Really? What do boardgamers think of roleplayers? Or traditional RPGers about storygamers? Or storygamers about trad gamers, for that matter? Are they roleplaying games? Storygames? Something else?

Doesn’t seem like a very solid core for unity to me. And I’ve seen the explosions and the fallout that have resulted in this community, simply because one person didn’t like someone else’s game of choice.

Now, this is the point in this post where I’m supposed to point at the Church and say, “But this community is founded on something secure: Jesus Christ. And so all the answers are here. See? Covenant community.” And it’s true. A community founded on Jesus Christ is the only secure community.

But…really? If that’s so, then why are we still so lonely in the Church? Could it be that we’re not willing to pay the price to have community?

A community is more than just shared allegiance; it’s shared lives. And sharing lives is costly.

Consider this: both the groups I’ve mentioned have actually managed to form apparently stable communities. As an example, I could travel to Chicago, Los Angeles, or western Massachusetts and find a couch to crash on. How do I know this? Because I’ve seen others do it. And, to be fair, if some of the gamers I know happened to be in Peoria, I’d probably do the same for them. Shared games have led to shared lives.

Or what about the polyamours? They have radically altered their lives in order to pursue the sort of community that they think will satisfy them. This change in lifestyle has come with significant financial, emotional, and social risk. And yet, people continue to embrace this lifestyle, which leads to shared lives.

If we’re so hot for Christian community, then what are we willing to do to establish it? The goal isn’t to have everyone show up at the same place at the same time. The goal is to share our lives with each other, because we all share Jesus. But are we really sharing our lives?

Ask yourself: what are the barriers that are keeping you from sharing your life with the people in your church? Fear of rejection? Distance? A life that’s simply too busy?

Then ask yourself: what are you willing to do to overcome those barriers?

The gamers and polyamours are already hard at work. What are we prepared to do?

Addendum: as an example of this whole “shared lives” thing, let me tell you about my weekend.

This weekend has been a growing experience for me. Often, that equals “a really difficult time”, but not this time. Instead, I think that I have a clearer sense of who I am and who I need to be for the people around me. And that’s certainly not a bad use of time at all.

I really geek out about office supplies and posterboard. There’s this hovering presence of possibility around all that paper. Like, I should do something with all of it.

I managed to escape having only bought some pens, mechanical pencils, index cards, and three composition notebooks. I want to talk about those composition notebooks. The rest makes sense if you’re a roleplayer. I mean, just add dice and you can play just about any game on the market. Sure, I’d be curious to see a Burning Empires character written up on index cards, too, but it could be done.

But those notebooks….

I have various spiral notebooks floating around. They contain my scratch paper. When I need paper, that’s where I go. They have also contained design notes for games that I’m working on. Invariably, the notebook gets lost or raided for scratch paper. So, I’m going to try working with these composition notebooks. Each draft game I’m working on will get a notebook. (Yes, do the math….) Then, when I have an idea, I’ll scrawl it in the notebook. This way, I’m actually using manual means (instead of Google Docs or the like) to capture my thoughts, and it will serve as a consolidated design diary of sorts.

Also, I’ll be able to put the title on the front cover. That’ll help give some focus to the use of the book, I think.

At least, that’s the theory. I’ll let you know how it goes.

I’m going to talk about privilege.

Wikipedia files this concept under “dominant privilege” and offers this definition:

“Dominant privilege is a sociological concept describing the unearned advantages enjoyed by members of the dominant culture.”

There’s also a link to a syllabus about privilege (PDF).

Now, I’ll wave the tattered remnants of my conservatism and say that I generally get irritated by discussions of privilege. I’ve seen my share of privilege discussions, and they often go like this:

Non-white non-male: Waah! My life is so hard because The Man keeps me down.
White male: Are you sure The Man is keeping you down?
Non-white non-male: Shut up! You have privilege and therefore are incapable of understanding me or having any wisdom at all!

Or like this:

White male: I have privilege, and now I have guilt! I am a terrible person and refuse to be consoled, because I am white and male. I abase myself for my genetics.

Yeah, these sorts of conversations irritate me. A lot. So much that I’d be tempted to pitch the whole concept.

Except that it’s kinda true.

I tend to focus on socio-economic privilege, so let’s talk about the rich and the poor.

I love the wisdom literature of the Bible. Proverbs and Ecclesiastes just lay it out there without apology, explaining life the way it is. And, not surprisingly, both books say a lot about the rich and poor. For example, Proverbs 10:15 says:

A rich man’s wealth is his strong city;
the poverty of the poor is their ruin.

In a related passage, Ecclesiastes 7:12 says:

For the protection of wisdom is like the protection of money,
and the advantage of knowledge is that wisdom preserves the life of him who has it.

These passages lay out a simple fact: having money protects you. The rich have protection from the world, but the poor are exposed to additional suffering. Or, as my mother put it, having money makes life easier.

That’s privilege.

(Yes, I’m aware that the Bible is full of warnings about the deceitfulness of wealth. However, this is because wealth actually does bestow power, though not as much as the rich think.)

The conservative response to this fact tends to be something like this: “Sure, having money makes life easier. But, this is America. We all have an equal chance to get money. Those with money just did the work, while the poor just refused to work hard.” Really? Proverbs 22:7 says:

The rich rules over the poor,
and the borrower is the slave of the lender.

For all that we want to deny it, the poor are at the mercy of the rich. This is a fact of life. We are not all equal. Some are stronger than others, and that will not go away.

In other words, we will not be able to rid ourselves of privilege. This is simply true, and we need to stop lying to each other and ourselves about this.

So, what then?

If the rich are stronger than the poor, then the rich have a greater responsibility than the poor. The Biblical principle is that the strong care for the weak. As an example of this, Romans 15:1 says:

We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves.

Think about it like this. I’m a pretty big guy. It’s a rare occasion to meet someone who is taller than me. Over time, I’ve realized that this means that I need to be very careful when I move around people, especially children. If I’m not careful, I will knock someone over or step on someone. Because I’m bigger and stronger, I have a greater responsibility to consider the impact of my actions.

Privilege is often used to attempt silence the strong. That’s wrong, because it’s simply an attempt to attack the strong. Instead, the powerful should be reminded of their privilege in order to remind them of their responsibilities to those who are not privileged.

Of course, this goes side-by-side with the need to remind those who are not privileged that they should not envy those who are privileged. Rather, the strong should help the weak because it is their responsibility, and the weak should humble themselves to accept help from the strong.

Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the LORD,
and he will repay him for his deed. (Proverbs 19:17)

In light of all this, next time I’ll talk about an issue that’s been on my mind recently: gentrification.

See you then.

This comment has nothing to do with role-playing games. I just noticed your interest in The Wire, Crash, Traffic, et al and want to know – what about these shows/movies interests/attracts you?

PS – I’m intrigued by these movies myself. I hesitate to say “enjoy” because what’s to enjoy about viewing a degraded society…but I’m drawn to these movies. In fact, Crash is one of my favorites.

It’s been a while since she asked the question. In fact, I started writing this post on January 6, 2009. I’m only posting it now. That’s a long time. So long that I’ve changed the name of the game to

Major Crimes. But I digress. The question still deserves an answer.

So, yeah, why would I do this to myself?

First, for the uninitiated, here are some links:

The Wire Season 1 opening credits

Traffic trailer

Crash trailer

I really like the Crash trailer, by the way. The bit at the end where the guy laughs about “people”…it just seems to sum up the movie so well.

And hey, while we’re here, a few clips from The Wire, so as you can get a feel for the show. FYI, these clips do including the use of language, so You Have Been Warned.

Who shot Snots Boogie–the opening scene of Season 1, Episode 1

D’Angelo explains McNuggets

And, one of the conflicted, tragic characters of the show…Bodie. Yeah, spoilers and such:

D’Angelo explains chess to Bodie and Wallace

Bodie and Poot kill Wallace

Bodie and Poot discover that their friend is dead

Bodie’s final moments

Of course, the last two clips are from Season 4, when you’ve almost forgotten that Bodie killed Wallace. Almost….

But hey, this isn’t supposed to be a fanboy post about The Wire. Or Traffic or Crash, for that matter. Rather, I’m supposed to answer the question, “Why are you a fan of these

stories?” And, for that matter, why make a game about making these kinds of stories?

First off, these stories are about specific social issues of our day. Traffic is about the effects of the drug war on society, Crash is about the impact of racism on society, and The

Wire…well, The Wire is about the failure of social institutions.

In other words, these stories are trying to show the human cost and individual impact of social issues. So, we’re not just talking about “drug addiction” in Traffic; we’re talking about Caroline

Wakefield, the daughter of a rich and powerful man who ends up prostituting herself for another high. We’re not just talking about “gang violence” in The Wire; we’re talking about Bodie, a generally motivated kid who fights a losing battle, long after his gang has abandoned him. We’re not talking about “institutional racism”; we’re talking about Officer John Ryan, who first sexually harasses a black woman and then later ends up saving her.

Beyond that, these stories all share a basic philosophy: we are all connected. The choices that we make don’t just affect ourselves. They affect everyone, rippling out from us like waves in a pond.

Yet we rarely consider this simple fact. We are so self-absorbed that we don’t even care about how we are hurting others.

These issues matter to me quite a bit. I am tired of the rhetoric that surrounds these issues. Everyone seems to have a solution, but few care about the human cost of their choices. So, I want people to stop long enough to consider the consequences of their choices. Rather than chanting “Just say no to drugs!” and voting for more police and harsher jail sentences for drug trafficking, I want people to consider the causes that lead someone to become a drug dealer. Why would someone choose that life? Maybe if you understood that, you’d have a different solution.

Along the way, I’d love to deconstruct the American myth of the police. We somehow believe that the police can simultaneously protect us from all harm while preserving our rights. Or, you know, at least the “important” ones. (Yeah, I’ve written about this elsewhere.) As I watched The Wire, I was constantly impressed with the fact that the police officers were just regular guys. They got up and went to work. Sometimes they had a good day; sometimes they had a bad day. Ever make a mistake at work? Yeah, so did they.

And now I’m watching The Shield, which is based on a simple premise: it is impossible to erase crime without becoming a criminal. Depressing, eh? But this is the result of our expectations of the police. We want them to be all-powerful, but then we complain when they take the necessary steps to accomplish the unachievable goal that we set before them. I find myself veering between anger at the police for their actions and sympathy for the impossible expectations that we have established for them.

Maybe more people should watch The Wire and The Shield instead of the quasi-magical CSI.

Once again, I digress.

I make games about issues that I think are important. I enjoy playing games that are just for fun, but I design games that express my concerns. I think that our world would be improved by more people stopping and thinking about these issues. Why do we continue to fund the drug war? What’s so bad about crack? Is the security that we have gained from new police techniques worth the freedom that we have lost?

I have my own answers. But I’m not writing Major Crimes to force my opinions on you. I’m writing Major Crimes, because I want you to have to answer these questions.

(Barb, you might also find “Why I Hate Fun” an interesting read. The author defends the idea of emotionally tumultuous stories being “fun”. Sorry for taking so long to write this for you.)

I remember being poor. I remember trying to provide for a growing family on a meager income. I remember going over our budget with a man from our church who stared at us incredulously, amazed that we were getting by on so little.

I remember being on food stamps. I remember how my wife dreaded going to the assistance office for the next dole. She would make sure that her wedding band was prominent, like a talisman against the disapproving glares. She wished that she could just yell, “I was married before I had these children!” But it wouldn’t matter. The steady stream of supplicants were despised by the case-workers. And so, each month, Crystal would swallow her pride and endure their scorn and condescension so that we could afford to eat another month.

And I remember one night when Crystal came home from the grocery store with a tale to tell. The Hispanic couple in front of her in the checkout line were struggling with their food stamp card. Their PIN wasn’t working, so they couldn’t buy their food. Eventually, they had to leave their shopping order and walk away. It broke my wife’s heart. She wished that she could have just stepped up and bought them those groceries. But we were sinking into financial morass ourselves, and all she could do was watch.

Much time has passed since those days. A friend rescued us from the tyranny of the assistance office and helped us dig ourselves out of the debt that we racked up trying to climb out of poverty ourselves. Now I have a good job, making decent money. We’re out of debt and feeding our family, which has continued to grow.

But I remember being poor.

In our society, it seems that the poor are treated either as a plague that must be eradicated or a social ill that must be addressed by some philosophical position or government program. But all these responses hold the poor at arm’s length. Everyone talks about the poor as a group, but few talk about specific people. Everyone talks about helping the poor, but few talk about loving the poor.

I want to love the poor. I want to help provide for their needs as best I can. I want to be the warm embrace, the stern word given in love, the shoulder to cry on when it’s just too hard. And I want to be
the protest and outcry, the public conscience that speaks for those who are powerless and will not be heard.

But it is not enough to live in some upscale neighborhood and occasionally descend from the mountaintop, deigning to bless the underclass with my presence. That would be condescending and
insulting. Instead, I look to the example that Jesus set. The Apostle Paul talks about the love of Jesus in these terms: “For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you by his poverty might become rich.” (2 Corinthians 8:9) If Jesus loved me like this, shouldn’t I love those around me in the same way?

And that is why I live here.

Many years ago, I heard the album The City by Vangelis. (For those of you who don’t know, he’s the musician responsible for the soundtracks for Chariots of Fire and Blade Runner.) Derf Hopsecger, a friend of mine, owned it and would let me borrow it from time to time. It was a musical rendition of a day in the life of a city, from sunrise to nightfall.

I loved that album.

So I set out to locate it for myself.

I’ve been looking for years. For years. Like, I think that I’ve been looking for the last twelve years. Maybe longer.

Today, I located it on Amazon. No, it wasn’t there before. I’ve looked.

And now, it is mine.

Hooray!

All that to say….

Now I’m working on Major Crimes. You know, the game that will let me play The Wire. We just did some basic playtesting tonight, and I have some writing to do.

So, guess what I’ll be doing? Yep. As soon as I publish this post, I’m going to get Hope. Then I’ll work on my game while holding a baby on my lap.

(If I get enough done, maybe I’ll play some Braid too.)

But, I do post links to pictures.

So, some pictures of Hope.

So, now that you know the joke, you can watch my Twitter feed (which can be found at the upper-left hand corner of my blog) to see how the baby is coming along. Isn’t that great!

Also, Baby Level Blue.